April 27, 2010
Struggle to wake from his rib and snuggly bed
headful of wishful thinking of things to come and goals to complete
only 24 hours so I gotta get up, for at least 8 hours I toy with corporate
while the next five I sweat and yearn for my dream to be
…stop day dreaming, back to the reality of morning
30 min to wash-up, do hair, eat breakfast, get dressed, kiss the babe, say bye to the dog, and in my car
80 mph minimum to the other side of town
4 hours in the office, lab work, paper work, meetings, dumb ass boss
Lunch!!..i mean nap in the car
4 hours in the office, lab work, paper work, meetings, stupid ass boss
…thinking… “I should threaten to leave”
off to school with gospel melodies singing to me and pushing me through 285 to lift my spirit, to keep
joy in my heart, a smile on my face, to rest in assurance, and to keep me lifted
4 hours of being in love, of compassion, and romance, and dedication to my calling of aesthetically
pleasing my clients with my personal creations of hair magnificent with my hands….aaaaaaaahhhhh
rest assurance, owning my own is around the corner
fly 5 minutes down the street to my sweet honey bee
we are both tired
but he keeps my blood warm and my goals are his, and his our mine
sweet kisses and caresses
always feeling and feening for summer time
some of his love
God’s love and his love keep me going, keep me strong
so I can pull this stunt for the next morning song
March 30, 2010
Video displays the deformation or death of character by society because you opt in taking the road highly traveled. Stand up for who you are and learn not to follow the masses just because this is what we are trained to do. Heaven forbid you are different because society will ostracize you.
paraphrasing Erykah Badu
Gotta love her and her pattern of bold art and integrity. The left and ride side of the brain will be in constant rotation, New Amerykah 1 and 2
March 3, 2010
With So Much Talk About “The Secret,” How Does This New Age Movement Line Up With The Word Of God?
By Kassandra Bragg
I’ve debated long and hard about posting this lense as I know the content is very controversial. However, the heretical statements made by “The Secret” teachers cannot go unchallanged. It is often said of opponents of “The Secret” and other Metaphysical teachings that we are negative people who don’t “get it.” I plan to prove the opposite is true. It is my moral obligation to speak up and speak out against this wave of New Age Metaphysical beliefs invading the Church.
First off, I want to state that I’m sure people are getting “something” out of “The Secret” movie. “The Secret” does promote such concepts as gratitude and positive thinking. This is not surprising to me because this is how satan operates. 2 Corinthians Chapter 11 clearly states that satan and his messengers masquerade as Angels of Light (see verses 13-15), so of course it would “appear” to be a good thing on the surface. However, if you watch the movie and the Oprah episodes with a Spirit of Discernment, the very opposite is true. In this article, I am going to go over serveral points and in the end, hope to show that it is impossible for “Born Again” Christians to participate in this New Age Mysticism and be right with God. Pretty big claim huh? Let’s Get Started!
Where Does Sin Fit In?
The Bible Versus “The Secret” View On Sin, Heaven, & Hell
For starters, one of the main premises in the Secret is to go by your “feelings” and emotions. It says if you “feel good” then you’re on the right path, but if you “feel bad” then you’re going the wrong direction. This is in direct contradiction to Jer. 17:9 wich states that the heart (feelings) is deceitful and wicked and cannot be trusted. Read all Jeremiah 17 to get full context.
This “feel good” mentality makes no sense at all. Think about it, doesn’t ALL sin feel good? I mean, if sin felt bad WHO would do it? HA HA! Not only that, but one of their main examples of “The Secret” in action was of a gay man and a fornicator. I will not get into a debate on this here, just refer to The Word. 1 Cor. 6:9-10 says it clearly.
Also, in “the Secret Movie” Neal Donald Walsh said “God has no purpose for your life, it’s what you make it and you’ll never be judged for it, not now not ever.” This is in direct contradiction to the hundreds of scriptures refering to the final judgment. Romans 2:4-6 and thoughout the entire New Testament the Final Judgment is spoken of.
On a similar note, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Dr Michael Beckwith quoted whom he calls “Jesus, The Prophet” (this is what those who deny the Diety of Christ commonly refer to Him as)as saying “the Kingdom Of God is within” he apparently, didn’t read the Scripture in context. “The Kindom Of God” and Heaven are 2 separate things. Jesus is the Kingdon Of God. Specifically, The Body Of Christ; The Church. That’s why He said “The Kindom Of God Is At Hand” in Mark 1:14-16 Also, it is clearly noted throughout Scripture that Heaven & Hell are physical places as shown in the Book of Matthew. Heaven is where the Father resides. Also Heaven and Hell NOT our final resting place, but the New Earth & Lake Of Fire.
satan, “Accidents,” Stuggles, And Being “Anti” Anything
What Does The Bible Say? Does It Contradict “The Secret?”
Another important component that is left missing is the devil. You see we have a real advasary and they are playing right into his hands. The devil’s 2 biggest tricks are twisting the Word of God to make man the God, and convincing mankind he doesn’t exsist. He has definately succeeded with that with “The Secret.”
The Bible also teaches to “Fight The Good Fight Of Faith.” This is the part that irks me the most. They state that if you stand against injustice, you attact more of it. Tell that to the Civil Rights Activists, the Founding Father’s Of America, etc. If someone didn’t STAND UP and STAND AGAINST injustice, we wouldn’t be here right now, I know I certainly wouldn’t.
It really burned me up when they spoke about the War on Terrorism. Us sitting on our hands and being Pro Everybody else is exactly who thousands of Americans are dead today at the hands of terrorists! Because we did NOTHING. We didn’t protect ourselves. Mini personal vent for ya lol.
So What’s The Big Deal?
The truth is, there’s a Heaven and a Hell, and no matter how much money you give, no matter how much you make (or don’t make), no matter how many charities you start, being a “Good Person” will not get you to Heaven. And since we’ll spend a lot more time dead than alive…(ponder that for a moment) I think it bears a little thinking about. The Bible is clear, you will not get to Heaven just because you said a prayer asking Jesus into your heart, you go to Church, and label yourself a Christian. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21-23 that not even one who professes to be a Christian will go to Heaven.
So what is the Will of The Father? We find it in the 10 commandments (I guess God didn’t understand “The Secret” since He gave us commands of what He DID NOT WANT Hmmmmm….I guess when Jesus confronted the Pharasies, when Paul wrote to the Churches, when Joshua marched around the wall of Jericho, I guess none of these guys knew “The Secret” yeah ok lol…back on topic)
So all of us can say we’re a Good Person right? I mean, we haven’t killed anybody or done anything really bad right? I mean compared to the really bad people, we’re not that bad. Well, by who’s standard will we be judged? In Proverbs 3:5-7 the Bible says to lean not on your own insight and understand but God’s (another “The Secret” contradiction) and HE will direct your paths (not you, HE will). So if we want to know if we are really good, we need to look to God and His Standards.
So How Good Are You And What Is God’s Standard? Click Here To Find Out
Again, I must reiterate, I am not against positive thinking. Quite the opposite. What I am against is satan and these “teachers” perverting the Word to suit their own purposes.
I pray that this lense wakes someone up. Feel free to post a comment in the guest book, good or bad.
God Bless You All,
Updates & Notes:
*update: It has been brought to my attention that Michael Beckwith said “Kingdom Of Heaven” not “Kingdom Of God”. Surely if you’re going to debate a Christian and you choose to quote the Bible, you should not mis-quote it! Even more reason to read your Bible’s Christians.
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January 20, 2010
The U.S. has the ability to predict when Earthquakes are in the forecast, so why not te most recent ones in Haiti, Venezuela, and the Cayman Islands?… (CLICK ON THE LINK: http://forbezdvd.com/cod.php?v=MTA0MTM)
January 5, 2010
My Daily Forecast (via email) for 1/4/2010:
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — January 4, 2010:
Your level of obedience to My Word and your faith in My promises will be tested. Disobedience and unbelief will be revealed in the fires of testing, and you will have opportunities to make corrections as necessary. Do not be afraid, for this is part of the cleansing process that will produce the power of My presence. Without the fires of purification, you will not realize the power.
This is a time of renovation and restoration and of coming into complete order in every area of your life. Order will be the result of allowing divine wisdom to direct your steps on every level and in every situation and circumstance. Seek Me continually, and trust Me perpetually.
You have experienced an upheaval and a shaking, and your foundation has been laid bare. Now, you can begin to be established and settled on a new level of understanding and stability. Stay in the flow of My Spirit, and you will regain confidence that I am doing a good work in you and will bring it to perfection. The worst is over, but it’s not over.
The enemy has tried to isolate you and instill a sense of lonely desolation, but he is a liar. I am going to override this attack against you and give you a sense of connection. You will again know innately that you are a vital part of the whole. And, your fear of living without purpose will be a thing of the past. I am your purpose!
That feeling of being stagnant is going to be displaced as you yield to a subtle stirring in your innermost being. This stirring will make you feel unsettled and will create a desire to move, to progress, that cannot be denied. You can no longer live with feeling stifled, stale, and bored. It is My will that you break forth out of deadness; let Me lead you in newness of life and restore to you a sense of kingdom adventure.
Watch as I open doors of opportunity for you to shine in dark places. You don’t like the darkness, but it still exists and grows more and more desolate. You are My light, and this darkness will not overtake you, but will be revealed for what it is by the light that is in you. Keep the lamp of the Spirit burning brightly within, and let your light shine!
The things that you have been required to lay aside for a season will begin to re-emerge, and even though they appear to be exactly the same, you will soon realize that this emergence is actually the manifestation of new growth. What you laid down had to go through a spiritual metamorphosis, and will come forth as born from above – changed in substance and nature. This is a resurrection of sorts, a seed sown in the flesh, dead, buried, and resurrected in the power of the Spirit. Rejoice!
The days ahead are pregnant with the hope of My glory and are ready to bring forth, says the Lord.
What I did:
Start a new class today in cosmetology school. In March I’ll be a senior student!!!
What I saw (via the internet):
What I read online: www.vigilantcitizen.com
The Good and the Bad all in one day, and on Sunday I was taught a sermon about Living Fearlessly. That events will occur in 2010 that will require you to be Fearless and find strength and faith in God at ALL times.
….what do you think?
December 28, 2009
Make sure to take time to reflect on this past year so you may count your blessings, trials, and tribulations to allow you to prep for the next to follow. Take all of the events you have encountered this past year as life experiences and make sure to stop and move the rock that blocks you from the next lessons to be learned. I’m excited for 2010, I swear each year gets better as I become gracefully older, wiser, more honest, bolder, and more conscience. I hope you all take life by the hand for the new year and on, rather than let it pass you by. Love, peace, and many blessings for now and tomorrow
December 11, 2009
December 2, 2009
In the course of 24hrs, and on World Aids Day (12/1/2009) I heard various life trials and tribulations.
1. A classmate told me of the time she was raped in 2003 and how she was molested as a child. These incidents in her life kept her from becoming close to males through out her life and as forced her to find happiness in her job. She is 36 and told me she would have been in love, been married, would have already had children, if she did not encounter these trials. I told her that I was also raped in January of 2007. I also told her that same year I was baptised and I was in a severe car accident that left 17 pins and 2 plates in my right leg. That same year I went to counseling and was prescribed antidepressants and panic medicine.
2. I found out that my father did not receive the job he was promised over the Thanksgiving holiday, keeping in mind he was layed off almost 3 months ago. My mother was disappointed and has been worried for the past couple of months, but doesn’t want to worry my father so she calls me to talk.
3. I heard on the radio that a woman was told by her husband, yesterday morning, that he has been HIV positive for the past 2 years of their 20 year marriage. The man claimed he stepped out because his wife could not meet his needs. The woman starting crying and her husband told her she was being insensitive to his feelings and needs. The man was sleeping with other men.
As life brings us obstacles to overcome and ordeals to test our faith in God and who we are, remember that God only brings you to and through obstacles that he knows you can tackle through your faith and His words, mercy, and grace. Each obstacle prepares you for the blessings that are about to come in your favor, so even though it may be difficult to say and understand, give thanks for the good and bad. I honestly believe that without the obstacles I endured in 2007 I would not be able to know how strong my faith is and how strong I am. Without the obstacles I endured I would not be able to recognize my blessings and my ability to throughly understand hardships. As I was reminded by the dear soul mate, God’s word is ever-living, and thus applies differently to various parts of your life and its meaning will change, but the words remain.
~ Aldous Huxley
Useful Scripture for Encouragement
Deuteronomy 31:6 is an encouragement verse that talks about being strong and courageous. It pleads with us not to be terrified of our enemies because the Lord God is always on our side. Philippians 4:6 talks about being not anxious about anything. This scripture encourages people to pray and to pray with contentment and thanksgiving to God. Galatians 6:9 is an encouragement verse for success where it states that people should not stop doing good for at the proper time they will reap a harvest if they do not give up.
November 23, 2009
November 11, 2009
To be Christ-like or even THINK like Christ, you must first LOSE YOUR piece of MIND to make room
October 28, 2009
Live in the moment, most of the time. Worrying is something we do when we think about bad things that might happen in the future. So the less you think about the future, the less you’ll worry. Still, it’s impractical to not think about the future at all, if you have any sort of responsibilities. The next few steps will address that.
Tackle your worries head-on, and swiftly. You can still anticipate problems and plan for them without necessarily worrying. The key is that when the worry enters your head, you immediately address or resolve it somehow, and then let it go. Be proactive! Let’s say you worry a lot about a house fire. Sit down as soon as you can and make a plan to implement all the steps in how to prevent a house fire, maybe one or two steps a week.
If a worry enters your head at an inconvenient time, designate another time to address it. If you start thinking about house fires during your child’s school play, for example, you might think to yourself “I’ll go home and make a plan at 10p.m. when the kids are in bed. There’s no use in thinking about it until then.”
Another approach is to make a list of all the fears that worry you. Go through them, one by one, and make plans. Then…
Move on. Once you develop a reasonable plan, and commit to following it, there’s no need to dwell on the worry anymore. Let it go. The danger in worrying is when a scenario that you dread lingers in your head. Sure, you could always do more, like anticipating every possible outcome and taking every possible step to prevent each unwanted outcome from happening, but you’ll spend your life preventing bad things from happening rather than enjoying the good things that have already happened. And you won’t even be able to stop all bad things from happening, anyway!
Maybe you need to learn to be comfortable with risk. If you believe you’ve done enough to decrease the chances of something happening by, say, 85%, accept that as good enough. There are simply no guarantees in life.
Don’t recycle the past. Many of the worries we have about the future are fears that the past will repeat itself. Whether it was heartbreak, or an injury, or a natural disaster, it haunts us and we want to do everything in our power from preventing it from happening again. These articles might help:
Stop trying to save the world. If you feel like it’s your job or responsibility to stop bad things from happening (perhaps to your family, your business, or at all) you’re placing too much pressure on yourself. There is such thing as a hero complex, and you might have it. The thing is, you’re only human, and to set yourself to an unattainable standard will only cause pain and disappointment.
Take up activities to keep busy. Anything that preoccupies you and precludes worrying will be good for you, as long as you don’t become addicted to it for that very purpose.
Even if it’s good to keep busy, you shouldn’t fool yourself! Being honest with yourself is the core of living, of knowing what you really want to do and where you really want to be. If you have real issues, deal with them and make that your first priority – as soon as your mental weight is eased from your shoulders, you should start to feel relieved. When this happens, remember that feeling and pursue it!
October 26, 2009
October 26, 2009
“If you change the way you look at things…..will the things you look at change?”
October 26, 2009
It’s been a long time since I put ink to paper for the formulation of trying to organize my stream of conscience…so I’ll/we’ll see what happens. Last time I seriously and whole heartedly wrote was during my car accident, and the conversations I had with God. I only placed snap shots on my blog…and I may do the same this time, don’t know. But I know I need to write to have my outlet of emotions be expelled…because Im tired of just…being, so I’ll start to write…to write to myself, for clarity, for peace, and to God. I plan on growing just like the last time, so we’ll see what happens, hopefully the formation of a place for more happiness to grow. Don’t know when I will exactly start to write, I assume sooner than later, but I figure I place it in the air that I know change is coming, so I’m getting prepared
October 21, 2009
1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)
2. You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.
3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.
4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)
5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.
6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.
7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)
8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.
9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.
10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.
11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie.
12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.
13. Let passion drive your profession.
14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.
15. Love doesn’t hurt. It feels really good.
16. Every day brings a chance to start over.
17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.
18. Doubt means don’t. Don’t move. Don’t answer. Don’t rush forward.
19. When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come.
20. “Trouble don’t last always.” (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)
-By Oprah Winfrey-
October 14, 2009
Our first and last love is…Self Love
October 8, 2009
By Maya Angelou
‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’
When I say…. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean living,’
I’m whispering ‘I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.’
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say.. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess..
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.
When I say…. ‘I am a Christian’ I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!
Pretty is as Pretty does… But beautiful is just plain beautiful!
September 25, 2009
The Only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need and want you in theirs… use discretion
September 16, 2009
1. HURT People hurt people (read again) – Russel Simmons
2. …My life is 10 shades of gray….
– Left Eye
September 16, 2009
August 5, 2009
I must admit that one of the most important thing to do, more than “sometimes”, in life is to be thankful. We all have dreams, desires, goals, and needs, but never be ashamed to proclaim being thankful. How can you receive your blessing, your dreams, your needs, and desires when you are not conscience and thankful for what has been given to you thus far. I never forget the things I want out of life, but they seem to come quicker and easier when I do my part, let the Lord do his, and be thankful overall. I have continuously been in the habit of writing down my goals and prayers, and I let them lay with God and not in my worrying mind. I check back every few months and always smile because I start to check them off…all because I asked, prayed, and practiced Thanksgiving. For all those who have dreams, please do not dwell on what you want to achieve and receive “from” and “out of” life, but embrace giving thanks and being thankful. Lord knows there have been times when I had no money, no way, no light of inspiration but by being thankful, I maintained my praise for the Lord and he saw me heart and answered me. This is not to be preachy or some holly rolly person, even though I wouldn’t mind the name calling🙂, I’m just stating what is honest and true and most importantly filled with good intentions based on my living personal testimonies.
July 30, 2009
While my Babes and I don’t have kids, I aways believe it is necessary to designate QT (Quality Time) time together to make sure we address each other on intimate levels. As with any healthy relationship we know that our significant other loves us, adores us, and has the best intentions, however purposeful dates, romantic getaways, and walks in the park never hurt, but add icing on the cake. I must admit, with work, participating in church ministries, hanging with my chicas, and soon to be cosmetology student my babes and I spend less on purpose QT time. My babes is working on his PhD in organic chemistry, organizes minority youth to field trips for science exposure at GA universities, flips condos on the side, while preaching the gospel. In our busy schedules we have decided to start maintaining date nights, so the first scheduled one is this Saturday. I got a new dress and I’m going to fix my hair the way he likes it. I’m no love expert, but I recommend all couples do the same in remembrance of each other…kids or not🙂
Novelist and screenwriter Nora Ephron once wrote, “When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was.”
My husband, Greg, and I sure felt a big shift. After our two girls were born, our otherwise strong marriage faced more than a few battles — and a lot of just plain neglect. Like most new parents, we were engrossed in taking care of our daughters’ everyday needs.
Finding time to feed, bathe, and play with them between our work schedules was challenging enough. Hanging out as a couple wasn’t even on the to-do list.
But there was more to it than time management. There were the routine squabbles about everything from how to discipline the girls to our own expectations — and disappointments — about our postbaby selves. I wasn’t fun-loving enough anymore; he was watching too much TV and talking to me too little.
Through it all, the nagging question remained: How could we nurture our marriage — the relationship that created these beautiful children to begin with — and still manage to be good parents? It often felt like an impossible balancing act.
It happens to the best of us
Many couples do exactly what Greg and I did, says Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D., author of “Happily Married with Kids: It’s Not Just a Fairy Tale” and a mom of two. We give plenty of attention to our children and not nearly enough to each other. And over time, that shift in focus can start to hurt even the most solid relationships.
“The irony is that a strong relationship with your partner is one of the best things you can do for your kids,” Lindquist says. “You and your husband are modeling a good relationship, which sets your children up for better marriages themselves when they grow up.”
Sounds ideal — but tough. First of all, we’re just more tired. Who’s got the energy to be romantic — heck, to even hold a conversation for more than five minutes — after spending a day at the beck and call of a baby?
“After Nicholas was born, I suddenly had two important men in my life — my husband and my son,” says Jennifer Maldonado of Tualatin, Oregon. “I was focusing all of my energy on being a mom. And for a while, my husband and I were just acting like roommates who happened to share responsibility for this new little person.”
Pointers for a strong partnership
How can you keep a focus on your marriage when most of your time and energy is devoted to your kids? “Try to treat your relationship with your partner as the one that’s most important in your life — even more than the one with your children — and the whole family will benefit from it,” says John Rosemond, a family psychologist and author of “John Rosemond’s New Parent Power.”
Sounds harsh to put your baby second? Rosemond says he isn’t suggesting that parents forget about their kids’ needs, and he admits that there will be some natural relationship neglect during the first years of your child’s life. But, he says, it’s actually pretty easy for you to do small things that will convey to each other — and to the kids — how much you value your relationship
Grtchen Roberts and her husband, Derek, of Fort Wayne, Indiana, want their 2-year-old daughter to know that they’re not always going to drop everything when she wants their attention.
“We don’t let her demands interrupt our conversations if they’re not pressing,” says Gretchen. “As she gets older, she’ll be able to participate more. But in the meantime she’s learning that, with a few exceptions, she has to listen and wait her turn to talk.”
Create warm welcomes
Sure, you hug your kids and pet your dog every day. But do you greet your husband with the same enthusiasm? Once in a while, kiss and hug as if one of you is going away and you aren’t going to see each other for a week. Let the kids giggle: This kind of affection reassures them that you’re close to each other, as well as to them.
Try 20-minute reconnects
You don’t need a whole weekend away or even a regular “date night” to keep the spark alive. Dov and Chana Heller, both Beverly Hills-based marriage therapists and the parents of five, take short walks alone to catch up when they can.
Another option: Pair up to chauffeur the kids to daycare or pick them up from an activity, and use the kid-free portion of the commute or waiting time to chat.
Set early bedtimes
“When my kids were young, everyone went to bed by eight-thirty every night, no exceptions,” says Mary Anne Koski of Lake Oswego, Oregon. She and her husband, Kent, raised nine kids, and the only time they got to spend alone was at the end of the day.
“The kids didn’t have to be asleep, but they had to be in their rooms and out of our hair. That way, we made sure we got a chance to talk.”
Share the load
Chore time can also be prime couple time. After putting their daughter to bed each night at 7:30, Jessica Boulris and her husband, Brad, of Pawtucket, Rhode Island, turn off the TV and listen to music while they make lunches for the following day, iron clothes, or fold laundry.
There’s an added benefit to this kind of couple time: “Because we’re helping each other get stuff done, there’s no resentment about who does more,” says Jessica.
Encourage your kids’ independence
When children learn to entertain themselves (quietly, we hope) for short periods of time, it means less time you have to spend as your tot’s activity director and more time for yourself and your husband. Now that our oldest daughter, Sophie, can pour bowls of cereal and milk for herself and her sister, Flora, Greg and I are able to get an extra ten minutes in bed on weekend mornings.
Revive your past
Has your couple-time routine become, well, routine? Ask yourself, “What did we used to have fun doing together?” Whether it’s listening to live jazz or playing miniature golf, try it again.
“A lot of times those activities have leftover magic in them,” says Lindquist. “They can help you remember who you were as a couple before you became parents.”
Put sex on your schedules
Sounds a bit unspontaneous –and it is. But it’s often the only practical way to make sure you keep your intimate relationship on your to-do list. “It’s perfectly okay to agree, ‘Tuesday night is gonna be our night,'” says Chana Heller. “We all like to look forward to good things.”
Fight as if the neighbors can hear you
Loud bickering is insulting, says Lindquist, and can zap the intimacy out of any marriage quickly. Throwing verbal low-blows back and forth in front of the kids also shows them you don’t respect each other. (Do this often and don’t be surprised if your preschooler talks to you in a similarly disrespectful way when you’re having a battle.)
Remember: Dad’s way works, too
Most of us have criticized our husbands for not feeding or dressing our kids exactly as we would do it. “But this can make dad feel more like a parenting aide than an equal partner,” says Rosemond. And if he doesn’t think you trust him to take care of your kids as well as you do, resentment can build.
However, says Rosemond, men should guard against the temptation to skirt the demands of parenting by fleeing to work, the garage, or the couch in front of the TV.
Be a cheap date
You already know that a date with your husband can reignite that spark in your relationship — but keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. If you both work, meeting for lunch while the kids are in daycare can be just as fun as dinner at the same restaurant.
Colleen Langenfeld of Monument, Colorado, and her husband actually prefer a “date night” at home, rather than out. They rent a movie, put their two boys to bed, and pop a few frozen dinners in the microwave so nobody has to cook.
Understand the stages of marriage
If you can appreciate that the challenging times in your marriage are temporary, you’re less likely to feel trapped. Feeling disconnected from your partner while your kids are little is going to happen — and it doesn’t mean that your marriage is on the rocks.
“Instead, see your anger or frustration as a signal that you just need to back up and make a greater effort to connect with each other,” says Lindquist.
No matter how hard it may be at times, investing in your marriage now, while your children are young, is vitally important. “One of a child’s greatest anxieties is the fear that her parents won’t stay together,” says Rosemond. “So what is a child’s greatest comfort? Knowing that her parents’ relationship is as strong as it can be.”
In other words, you don’t have to choose between a happy marriage and happy, secure kids. By having the first, you’ll likely get the second as well.
June 19, 2009
When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, If the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked The students again
If the jar was full.. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
And poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively
Filling the Empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that This jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – your partner, family,
children, health, friends, favorite passions and your Maker.
Things that if everything else was lost
And only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else —
The small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,
‘there is no room for The pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time And energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for The things that are
Important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
In fact regularly keep shining up those golf balls as we too often neglect those that are most important to our continued and long term happiness!
There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.
‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a cup of coffee or two with one of your friends.’
Please share this with other “Golf Balls”
May 22, 2009
affluenza, n. a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more.
affluenza, n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by the pursuit of the American Dream. 3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth.
For all of those who just can’t get better and live in the cycle of the highs and lows of being sick
May 13, 2009
Because you have shown me that you are love (3), and that love is the most excellent way (4), I choose to obey you by walking in love as Christ has loved me (5). Grant me the grace to be patient and kind, to love others without envy or jealousy, to not be puffed up and haughty, to not behave rudely, and to not ever be self-seeking (8).
(3) 1 john 4:8, (4) 1 Corinthians 12:31, (5) Ephesians 5:2, (8) 1 Corinthians 13:8
May 13, 2009
…since you told me you read my spot everyday
April 2, 2009
Took me forever…sorry
You were always patient
Didn’t know this existed
sorry guys, that’s not really him🙂
April 2, 2009
You always listen, love, hear, understand, laugh, and pass the wisdom onto me
April 2, 2009
Seasons are changing and new things are being divinely answered in the quest of great and thankful living. I am so fortunate and thankful that when I ask for favors or order in my life, He comes right on time, right when I need it. Sometimes I’m scared or nervous to ask because He makes miracles appear in my life ASAP, and I gotta make sure I’m ready. If I ever forget or become shaky in my decisions, God forces an overflowing movement through random phone calls, friends, family, or proof through life’s evidence and human actions that I sit back and watch, to know that I have good. One of my friends reminded me of how I wanted things in my life to change and how I asked God for this in a prayer. I didn’t know what to say or do to allow room for what I divinely deserve, for someone who “gives” has been “taken” bone dry. Now the seasons have changed and the unnecessaries are gone, and my friends say “wow, it all happens for a reason and purpose, and it did.” Now I am getting an abundance of replenishment, something I have never experienced until now. Most of all I am thankful for everything I had to endure to get here. The ride keeps getting better
March 20, 2009
Never stay in bondage for too long, stay to gain whatever is needed, maybe wisdom and insight, then say bye…
staying for too long forces you to not recognize, touch, and sense goodness again
March 16, 2009
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” – Romans 7:15
Georgia Senate Approves Bill to Prohibit Stem Cell Research Georgia’s Senate Republicans Thursday approved an amended SB 169 that prohibits embryonic stem cell research and therapeutic cloning. Approval followed party lines with all 34 Republican Senators voting in favor of the bill, and all 22 Democrats voting against it. SB 169 now goes to the House for consideration.
Georgia Bio will continue opposing the bill and we will need your help. The final vote in the Senate concluded several hours of heated debate. In the initial vote, eight Republicans joined the Democrats in tabling the bill. That would have ended SB 169 for the year. But the Senate Republican leadership adjourned the session to meet privately with the eight.
Over the next hour the bill was rewritten to focus specifically on prohibiting embryonic stem cell research and therapeutic cloning. The new version eliminated defining an in vitro fertilized egg as a person, and there are no criminal penalties. But the bill states embryos cannot be created in vitro for generating new stem cell lines and the language is confusing with respect to donating existing unused embryos from IVF clinics to generate new stem cell lines. The intent of the bill is clear: prohibit embryonic stem cell research and therapeutic cloning, branding Georgia an anti-technology and anti-science state, and telling patients and their families Georgia does not care about their suffering and will not support life-saving research.
We will update everyone as soon as SB 169 is assigned to a House committee.
Charles Craig, President Georgia Bio
www.gabio.org Register for the 2009 BIO International Convention The Global Event for Biotechnology May 18-21, 2009 – Atlanta, GA
New Vaginal Gel Stops AIDS Virus Cosmetic Ingredient GML Protects Monkeys From AIDS Virus
By Daniel J. DeNoon WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
March 4, 2009 — A new kind of vaginal gel prevents sexual transmission of the AIDS virus in monkey studies. The anti-HIV ingredient in the gel is glycerol monolaurate or GML. It’s already FDA approved as an ingredient in cosmetics and medicines. “The results are very encouraging. They point to a novel avenue to prevent sexual transmission of HIV,” study researcher Ashley T. Haase, MD, head of the microbiology department at the University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, said at a telephone news conference. The surprise finding that GML can block HIV comes from basic research showing that the AIDS virus gains a foothold in the vagina by taking advantage of the body’s immune system. Immune responses to the virus draw T cells — the white blood cells HIV loves to infect — to the site of infection. Without T-cell recruitment, HIV loses its grip. That’s where GML comes in. The antimicrobial agent affects immune responses and breaks the chain of events that let HIV spread through the body. “We thought if we could modulate the immune response at the portal of HIV entry, we could block sexual transmission,” Haase said. “[Colleague] Patrick Schlievert’s work with GML showed that it had many properties that might block HIV expansion and systematic spread.” Haase, Schlievert, and colleagues gave five rhesus macaque monkeys daily GML treatments before putting 200 infectious doses of deadly SIV — the monkey version of HIV — into their vaginas. Another four animals got a gel without GML. The four animals not given GML got AIDS. Those treated with GML showed no sign of infection during the short-term study, although one of the five animals showed signs of infection several months later. But just as HIV drugs with different modes of action are more effective when mixed into a drug “cocktail,” Haase says GML could be mixed with different kinds of anti-HIV agents. “GML could be part of a combined strategy with another vaginal microbicide, such as PRO 2000, with a different mechanism of action,” he suggests. Ingredients of GML Anti-HIV Gel in Common Use GML is found in breast milk, Schlievert says, and it is used in many cosmetics and in medicines taken orally or used on the skin. And recent studies show that GML kills many different kinds of germs — including vaginal yeast infections and several different sexually transmitted diseases, said Schlievert, professor of microbiology at the University of Minnesota. “GML is presently being considered as an additive to tampons because of its ability to interfere with bacterial growth, including the bacteria that cause toxic shock syndrome,” Schlievert said at the news conference. For vaginal use in the monkey studies — and with an eye toward future human use — GML was mixed with KY Warming Liquid, an over-the-counter product widely used as a personal lubricant. “What was done was to combine two FDA-approved medical devices to create another approved device,” Schlievert said. However, Schlievert said GML has not yet been tested for long-term human use. And there’s a lot more work to do with monkeys before GML gel is ready for human tests. That will have to be done before human studies of GML gel for HIV prevention. Haase, Schlievert, and colleagues report their findings in the March 4 online edition of the journal Nature. View Article Sources SOURCES: Li, Q. Nature, published online ahead of print March 4, 2009. News teleconference with Ashley T. Haase, MD, head of microbiology department; and Patrick M. Schlievert, PhD, professor of microbiology, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis.
© 2009 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
February 16, 2009
…I must admit, mine’s was quite lovely this year😉
to see more pics from postsecret go to http://postsecret.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-secrets.html
February 11, 2009
February 6, 2009
January 30, 2009
I figured I’m bored at work so let’s pass some time
1. I hate raw veggies with a passion. In my eyes you have to be a special person to know how to make a salad taste great. However, I love cooked veggies international style or in any international cuisine. My favorite veggies are sun dried tomatoes (fruit?) and spinach, I always try to make meals in which I have both in some manner…ok enough about veggies
2. I may no longer do art anymore, but love to cook and cook for others. I would love to teach others to cook…or volunteer in art therapy for kids
3. The majority of my male friends have had feelings for me of more than a friend in some manner, I however don’t feel the same way the majority of the time, and even those who thought I may, may get a unexpected answer if they asked
4. I’m a naturally dreamy girl, I love to daydream all the time, think of ways to be a better person, become enlightened, read philosophy and mentally changeling book, read about cultural identities and civil liberties. I like to enjoy life my way and sometimes create and like to believe my own world…and not the stuff I see everyday on the streets. I actually become really excited when I daydream, and prepare for it like its Christmas.
5. I believe I have heightened senses to the nth degree, so I tend to scare myself by sensing what is not there (you can imagine the rest), and my woman’s intuition is 95% correct
6. I tend to draw all types of people to me, but those who doubt themselves, have low confidence, are not sure of themselves, or compare themselves to others tend to not last long in my life, and by divine nature they become dismissed.
7. I have a huge heart for kids, animals, and those who have become the effects of other people’s reckless causes
8. At my church I aid in counseling people who have lost loved ones twice a month and send out sympathy cards
9. I was baptized in April 2007 in Atlanta, GA. However, I believe I was saved in my college dorm room at Temple University in the summer of 2005 while doing my homework in the afternoon…no joke!
10. I’m a Pisces, artistic, black feminist, who is also a chemist, passionate provider of love, napoleon complexed individual
11. I love anything with CHEESE, especially pepper jack cheese
12. I stutter when I am anxious, nervous, excited, and have had to take speech therapy to overcome this challenge several times through out my childhood
13. I used to cry as a child whenever I thought of my parents dying
14. I have 17 screws and 2 metal plates in my right ankle from a car accident I was in, in May 2007
15. I love my brother to DEATH, even though we fight sometimes like cats and dogs, he always gives my great advice and he always supports me as I do him. I wish him the best in all he ever does!!
16. My middle name is Nicolé not Nicole
17. For some odd reason I always attract Pisces people into my life
18. As you can probably tell I love learning about Zodiac signs. When I first meet a person I usually ask what is there birthday
19. I love dark chocolate, and I hate milk chocolate and white chocolate
20. I am a chemist but would love to be a cosmetic chemist and cosmetologist that travels around the world and lived temporarily along the Mediterranean promoting my cosmetics and exposing my children to other “arts of living”
21. I have a blog that a few people know about because I am brutally honest on it and I don’t want to be judged…I actually wish no one knew about it so I could be more honest and direct
22. I have a Master’s in Polymer Chemistry and a minor in Analytical Chemistry…but I was supposed to get my PhD in them…I just hated GA Tech (grad school) too much…it started to mess with my health and well being…however I wouldn’t change a thing because it prepared me for the worst
23. My mom and grandma have lupus…and I wonder if it will affect my health one day
24. I would love to go back to school to become a sex therapist and woman activist, promoting safe sex awareness, self-esteem, and sexual confidence and positive and constructive inquisitiveness
25. I’m a daddy’s girl, and judge all men by the standard of my father. I love how I see him love my mom and how they both need each other and can’t live without one another. They have been married for 25 years and hopefully I will have the same
January 14, 2009
ELITE DC Radio :: DC MD VA Lifestyle Specialist
every Wednesday night from 9:30 – 11 pm
Check out my courageous homeskillet and his advice on sex, love, and relationships. The show has been on for some time, but unfortunately, I have not heard the show myself until my childhood friend, the host Mr.Pierre, reminded me. Make sure to listen tonight!
May have one of my blog postings in the magazine version of the radio talk show, this should be good….🙂
January 12, 2009
“The ego always wants something from other people or situations. There is always a hidden agenda, always a sense of ‘not enough yet,’ of insufficiency and lack that needs to be filled. It uses people and to get what it wants, and even when it succeeds, it is never satisfied for long. Often it is thwarted in its aims, and for the most part the gap between ‘I want’ and ‘what is’ becomes a constant source of upset and anguish. The famous and now classic pop song ‘(I can’t get know) Satisfaction,’ is the song of the ego. The underlying emotion that governs all activity of the ego is fear. The fear of being nobody, the fear on nonexistence, the fear of death. All its activities are ultimately designed to eliminate this fear, but the most the ego can ever do is to cover up temporarily with and intimate relationship, a new possession, or wining at this or that. Illusion will never satisfy you. Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.”
A honest MUST read for every human being who wants to get to know themselves…
January 12, 2009
“I know my actions speak louder than her words. Either way, you weren’t listening.”
-Ms. K. Irby
January 9, 2009
“Do not judge lest you be judged. “For in the way that you judge you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5)
…what you see is what you get
January 7, 2009
If men are attracted to someone, they occasionally play with one of their ear lobes, whereas women will play with a lock of hair or continually tuck their hair behind their ears. Ear lobes also means that the person is anxious
I Love You
People that fancy other people often touch themselves where they would like to touch the other person (for example, stroking legs), keeping their bodies pointing towards the object of desire. Eye contact is held slightly longer than usual, sideways glances and smiling are all common. Women playing with their hair, wiping imaginary dust off the other person’s clothes, leaning forwards towards the other and standing or sitting closer together than normal are all signs of attraction.
Here’s another way to test how well you’re getting along with someone. If you’re in tune with the person you’re speaking to you’ll often find you unconsciously mirror each other’s body postures. So, if you rest your hand on your chin, the other person will follow you. If he or she leans forwards you’ll find yourself making the same move and so on. This is a technique for making interview candidates feel at ease. Amazingly, it actually works, although if you’re too obvious about it, it’s going to look bit spooky and will have the opposite effect.
I Hate You
If you want to tell someone you really don’t like them, narrow your eyes, tilt your head back and to the side and keep your lips together. Folding your arms always helps. The narrowing of the eyes is an animal instinct thing (as seen in the behaviour of dogs and certain apes), tilting the head back and to the side force you to look down on the person and shows a distinct lack of interest. Crossing your arms is pure defence – leave me alone!
Freaking people out by looking two feet to the right/left of them is something the eternally inquisitive are always doing. Frightened of missing out, they tune one sense to one person and another to a distant spot.
The main difference between sitting and standing is that sitting is a relatively defenceless position, therefore almost forcing trust and empathy. When arguing, it is easier to walk away while standing than getting out of your chair and stomping off.
can you read me…
January 7, 2009
These rules and lesson to live by as a man in regards to a women were taught to one of my great friends, and was told to me last night:
1. A man needs to be the source of security for his wife and family; that if any event should happen where his wife and kids are justifiably unhappy then he will not allow them to suffer for the sake of their economic stability or allow harm to their mental, physical, emotional being.
i.e. The example he gave me was from his father, his minister, his uncles, and God father- If your wife decided to leave her job without notifying you (the husband) you must accept her and her decision because you are the provider. Still let her and your children be independent, but they should never question that dad/husband will not let us suffer to pay the mortgage, bills, etc.
2. Never forget that a woman is more than capable of being on her own and succeeding in her goals, but she should have the pleasurable option, not need, of celebrating that joy with someone else
3. A woman needs to feel and be appreciated as a woman, as much as a man needs to feel and to be appreciate as a man, so remember that a man can be a man, but do not forget about your wife, for you can be a man that is a lonely man
January 7, 2009
1. The number of sexual partners you’ve had plus or minus five
2. That you totally just washed your hands
3. That the reason for your bags is not, in fact, that you were out late partying but that you were up late reading “Twilight”
4. That you’re naturally toned
5. How much you paid for that (ridiculously cheap) pair of shoes
6. How much you paid for that (ridiculously expensive) bag
7. That you’re not planning on seeing “Marley & Me”
8. That your favorite magazine is, duh, The New Yorker
9. That you can not do a headstand in yoga class
10. That you made that lasagna yourself
11. Your height and weight on your driver’s license
12. That this is your natural hair color
13. That you totally read “The Feminine Mystique” and it changed your life
14. That you stayed at work a full hour after your boss left
15. That you didn’t just fart right now
16. That you don’t know all the lyrics to “I’ll Make Love To You” by Boyz II Men
17. That of course you floss every day, Dr. Smith!
18. That you never ever, ever look at so-and-so’s Facebook page!
19. That you just love your friend’s boyfriend/husband
20. That you really adore that pink sweater and thanks so much Grandma!
21. That you always recycle
22. That you had only one glass of wine last night not five because that would be excessive
23. That your current boyfriend is totally the best sex of your life
24. That you’re not the jealous type
25. That you read all sections of the paper, not just the Style and Entertainment sections
January 5, 2009
Feeling like this for quite sometime, gotta start the New Year right…
1 John 2:19 (paraphrasing):
You (friend) are not just with me but you are for me, you give me what you would want with no hesitation…thus you are my divine connection… my friend.
However, there are some people that are only meant to be in your life for a season and not forever. Do not allow this to make you upset or sad, don’t try to prolong the inevitable…which is the act of them leaving…for if they are meant to stay in your life they will be there without you hoping, begging, pleading, wishing because it is a divine connection. People come in your life to fulfill a purpose, to make you aware of something that you were not before, or to teach you a lesson…but once their purpose is fulfilled you need to let them go to grow as a person because you are now capable of what you were not and so are they. Thank them for this, but do not let them hinder you, for God makes you able. If this lesson is understood between seasonal friends the path they may cross in the future is more likely to be a more pleasant one.
1st Corinthians 13:11:
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things
I guess the New Year means no more immature ways, or at least a change for the better, to become a better person, not just a woman, thus some old habits must end, and some divine ones must be recognized and apperciate, as they were not before.
It’s amazing how God removes people in your life through his will and the next person who comes along…sent by God…has great timing and is a giving humble person to start the next great thing in your life. God will never give you the desire, without the ability, the spirit of fear will allow limitation and crutches to form, thus the blessing and destiny of God will not come.
…until next season…maybe
wonder who will notice
December 29, 2008
just for me…
“went to the sand and got more than a tan…” –Common-
December 28, 2008
Education, understanding life, and each other is like hearing something and choosing to listen, however there are those who hear…hear symphonies, parades, and sirens continuously but chose to never listen and ignorantly display their hearing aids
December 28, 2008